I have never been one to beat around the bush, quite the opposite in fact. But recently I have found myself biting my lip and sometimes my tongue so hard that I nearly draw blood. A gruesome image I know but I just get so frustrated with things and at times I just want to throw a blunt object at a wall over and over again until I have forgotten what it was I was so upset with in the first place. Of course there are many places where you can’t throw said objects at said wall due to the fact it is frowned upon in many circles. I don’t know why it is frowned upon it seems perfectly fair to me to be able to release the tension without releasing someone’s head from there body. Of course this is wrong and I would never do it. So instead I bite my lip and tongue quite literally at times. I wish I didn’t but you can’t smoke on a bus or in the many other places I find this feeling a pure rage at other peoples stupidity. I realise this may sound as though I feel I always know best and for the most part I know this not to be true. I do have a sound understanding of many things in life but I also realise that one man can’t know everything. Not even Steven Hawkins knows everything. (OR DOES HE?)
It is not healthy to bottle up feelings, I find that if something needs to be said it is best off to just come out an say it. It could be a joke that has you laughing under your breath to yourself or it could be telling some you like them. In many cases the things that we bottle up are in fact negative feelings and thoughts to another person you are somehow close to.
The person could be a colleague, a lecturer it could be a mate. Whoever it is it really shouldn’t matter. Negativity is a bad thing and has no place in my world. So why am I not saying how I feel to people currently? All of my life I have opened up and just come out with it. Is this finally me growing up? I didn’t think this day would ever come. I am normally to busy coming up with my next one liner to think about other things that much. But here I am getting frustrated about to blow worse than a volcano that has been dormant for decades and still, the words do not come out. I don’t believe I have turned over a new leaf, this whole thinking before saying for me is like turning over the whole damn forest.
So in future if you ever see me right a comment on Facebook and I do not wish to divulge why that comment was written on my own page, then don’t bloody push me. If I have something to say it will be said. But it will not be the 21year old Marc who would come out firing on all cylinders because the world owed me a favour. It will not be the 25year old Marc who was getting cocky as he thought he was just plain better than you. It will be the new and improved 30year old Marc who is old enough now to know better.
You have to ask yourself, why is that person annoying you? Are you to tired? Is it their fauly they are annoying you or is there some underlying issue that is out of their control? At the end of it all you don’t know and chances are you never will. So instead, write a blog and hope it gets read. After all, I certainly feel better now.
That’s it for now,
All the best