Technology, what a wonderful thing it is, we all use it all of the time. But my word it can get you in trouble. Picture this, I was stood outside the bar the other day minding my own business smoking a cigarette. A couple of people walk past me and into the bar. A normal conversation being had but I have to say I listened in, call it my bat like hearing maybe but I rarely miss something that makes me laugh.
So the lady tells the guys, I messaged her but she never replied, this got me thinking, how many times I have thought this myself. So, here she is, messaged a friend, friend receives said message, reads it but is too busy to reply, can’t be bothered to reply or maybe the shock of the received message meant she dropped her phone down the toilet, either way, she read it but didn’t reply.
As senders of said messages we now have the ability to tell that it has indeed been read but of course have no idea why it hasn’t been replied too.
So the inevitable interrogation in one’s own mind begins.
Have I upset her?
Is she ok?
Why hasn’t she replied?
‘Damn it I never liked that b***h anyway’.
Of course all of these thoughts are pointless, there are likely many reasons why the person hasn’t replied and chances are they are not any of the negative reasons you are thinking when you are seemingly being ignored.
The funny thing is, years ago we never had the ability of knowing if the message had been read and so the rage of not getting a reply was reduced to you thinking, ‘oh well they must not have read it yet, they must be busy or didn’t have their phone with them’.
Thanks to the clever people of Facebook and Whatsapp we now get a glimpse into other people’s message reading non replying ways and without that prompt reply we are all left wondering why. I have often found myself looking at the blue ticks on Whatsapp or at the little head that shows itself on Messenger to signify the correspondence has been received. Waiting with baited breath my reply is either being typed back or realising I am in fact being ignored and my message was likely seen as an annoying irritant that was not enhancing the day of the person it had been sent too.
Don’t get me wrong, I love technology but do we really need to know when a message has been read. Can we not just leave some things a mystery? I realise I am slightly contradicting myself there but I have learnt the hard way that you should never say to someone ‘you read the message 3 hours ago, where was my reply’? People don’t like that!
The moral of the story is be patient, they will reply, you don’t know what is going on with them at the time, there will be a valid reason and they will get back to you.
That’s it for now
Until next time
Blind people playing sport, are you having a laugh? How do you do it? I think you’re amazing, these are just some of the things I hear when speaking to people about my love for playing sport.
I have written blogs on my Real Life Humour blog about sports in the vein attempt to inspire others around me to get involved. When I founded the Gloucestershire Growlers VI Cricket team I was so desperately short of players to get it off the ground I nearly gave up. Me and my friend would sit in the bar trying to come up with ways of getting more people involved. Thankfully it all panned out well in the end I am now (along with my team mates) a blind cricket league winner. But going back to the questions posed at the start, how do you do it?
The simple answer to this is skill and talent but we all know that is the arrogant, moronic and big headed comments that I am so often being told off for saying. The truth is hard work and dedication. Life will always put things in your path to try and block you from moving forward. For some it could be health issues, for others like many of you it is sight loss and for most of us with these issues it is a mental problem. That’s not to say we have mental health issues but it isn’t easy living with sight loss.
When people say I think you are amazing for doing things like cricket, pool or even walking around with my white stick of doom, I just smile and say thank you. I think you’re pretty awesome too. The truth is I don’t consider myself amazing for carrying out everyday tasks or playing sport. There are many reasons why I do play sport, mostly it is because I love to compete. There is no better feeling for me than winning. I hope any future wife I may find doesn’t read this because I get the feeling I would prefer to compete than do a lot of the couple things I hear so much about. Probably why I am still hunting for that special someone. I think I may have found her now though, don’t tell her I told you.
For me though sport is not only about competing, it is a way of life. It is the most social thing you can do, it’s a great way to meet new people and it is a great way to keep fit or lose the winter beer belly in my case.
I am fortunate enough to have played team sports for most of my life and I have always used them as a catalyst to build confidence in myself and others around me. There is no better feeling for me than winning medals or the rushes you get when a game is near its conclusion and you only need a few more runs to win the game. You a standing on the side-lines bugging the scorer because you can’t see the players on the pitch. I am quite sure the scorer gets annoyed at the need for update requests every 45 seconds but we are that excited we just have to know. Then the winning runs are scored and, well actually you don’t really know what happened. The best sighted people are usually on the pitch acting as runners. So the exciting squeal of emotions is lessened somewhat but you get the picture. You have won the game, you are one step closer to winning the league and you are on top of the world. If only we had a commentator at these games it would make life a lot easier.
If I can offer you any word of advice it would be simply this, if you have never tried a sport but you have a little bit of interest in doing so, don’t hesitate. Contact British Blind Sport and see what is on offer in your area. Don’t let nerves stop you from doing it as it could be the best decision you make that day. Sport brings people together, it gives you the chance to speak to people you never would have before. It broadens your social circle and it gives you the confidence to go move onto other things afterwards. It could be the start of something beautiful and you will never know unless you try.
I hope you have enjoyed reading my thoughts, thank you to Henshaws for asking me to get involved with their brilliant work. If you want to read any more of my ramblings, you can find me here – https://mrwgblog.wordpress.com/author/mrwg1986
That’s it for now,
Until next time
Growing up I was always keen on sports, whether that was running, football, rugby or pool. If it had a competitive edge I would give it a go. Always keen to compete I would happily get involved with whatever sport I could. I believe if you dedicate yourself to a particular sport then you can get better and better at it. The problem I faced was always which one to choose going forward.
At the age of 10 I was playing football for my primary school, when I went to secondary school I started playing for my local team Cashes Green Rovers, scoring twice on my debut I was selected as captain for the next game and carried on from there. I was only 13 but was captaining the under 15’s.
I used to run cross countries for my secondary school until the age of 14 when sadly a knee injury stopped me from taking part in too much physical work on it. So sadly my running and football days were pretty well over and any kind of competitive level. Instead I could only really kick a ball with friends for much more limited time spans. Still a lot of fun and always good exercise.
The need to compete was always there and I guess it always will be. At the time my parents were running a pub and I used to go along every now and then and hang out with them which were usually rather boring. However, this was where I discovered the game of 8 ball pool. My dad had played for years, so it seemed right that I should follow in his footsteps. He also played all the sport he could when he was young just as I did. So, I observed, I learnt, then I picked up a cue and at the age of 13 or so I started playing. Not very well to begin with of course but never the less I learned by playing and watching the others in the pub who would turn out week in week out for a few games. At first I think they let me win and didn’t try very hard to beat me but soon after I picked up a few good shots and became a decent player. At the age of 14 I joined the pubs pool team. Playing all over Stroud visiting different pubs every Tuesday it was a really great experience, one that I just loved. My first season was not my finest but this only made me want to improve, so I joined the local pool club and would play hour after hour and eventually I started to win more than I lost and the people that used to let me win were now trying their hardest but often couldn’t compete. In my third year of playing I was made captain of the team and if memory serves it was my second season as captain when we won the league for the first time and so a thirst for success was born.
We went on to win several more trophies over the following few years and even ended up going to Wales to play against a Welsh international side which was a lot of fun. Playing pool had given me a new lease of life at such a young age, something I was good at and it was something where you can meet so many people. My social life improved and my confidence improved to go with. I felt unstoppable, until my dreaded sight loss.
It was just before my 20th birthday when my sight failed me and I could no longer see to play. This for me was a devastating blow, especially after my knee stopped me from playing football. I had now lost all of the sporting activities that made me tick. I literally felt like I had nothing, it wasn’t just the sight and all that went with that, sport for me was the lifeline that kept me feeling confident and social, it’s what kept me sane. I was devastated that I could no longer see to compete, I genuinely thought I would never find any other sport to play again.
Fast forward 5 years and after finding a bar that I could practice in and not feel uncomfortable I started playing pool on my own simply to try and rediscover the skills I had lost; I finally found a way to play the game again. I can’t see one end of the table to the other but if the white ball is close to my object ball then I can just about see it. I use the shadow created by the cue on the table to judge where my cue is and the rest is all done through memory. It was tough to begin with but like I always say, practice makes perfect. It has taken me around 5 or so years to get back to a level where I am pleased with how I am playing, I know I can still get better but I am proud to say that those years of miss-spent youth playing pool were not wasted after all. I just had to find a way around the problem and when you think about it in life, that’s all we can do. If there is an obstacle you simply have to find a way to overcome it.
In 2017 I played league pool for the first time in over 10 years and against some of the best players in Cheltenham, I may not be as good as I once was but I am proud to say I am taking part again which I never thought I would be able to do.
With the pool playing giving me back the competitive edge and the founding, running and playing for the Gloucestershire Growlers blind cricket team, I have never felt more alive.
Sight loss for me was at first devastating, not playing sport was even worse, but now I have found a way to still be able to compete and succeed, I have never felt better.
Since I became single again for the 125th time in my life I have of course gone down the inevitable route of online dating. You may recall my earlier blog Blind Dating and Awkward Romance as being my take on the dating scene. Well tragically I am back out there again flaunting my wares like an eager fruit and veg man selling his bananas (no pun intended.
Ok maybe there was a little pun intended, so not only am I back on all of the usual rubbish dating apps getting morally beat down and made to feel like the world is against me ever finding a date again, I am also going out on weekends spreading my wings like a proud peacock trying to impress which ever flock of women might want to pay the slightest bit of attention. It’s tough.
So, we go out to the bar, me and my wingman are in place, pint in one hand, cane in the other. He identifies the target and we take aim. Well I say we do, I’m not really sure any more what we do. I have often felt the lead has gone from my pencil and I am instead scratching with a blunt instrument desperately trying to find someone to lend me a sharpener.
Eventually someone has enough curiosity to come over and say hi, normally to figure out why I am carrying a light sabre with me and what fancy dress party I had been too. After the explanation is given and they are now educated to my rather severe sight loss, normally they tend to disappear into the darkness as they probably know I won’t be able to spot them again. Perhaps if it were a light sabre they might stay a bit longer and I could use some Jedi mind tricks on them.
It is said that to catch a girl’s attention you need to catch their eyes. There are two things wrong with this and no, not the obvious glass eye joke, not even I would go that far.
1. How do you catch someone’s eyes when you can’t see them?
2. If you somehow manage to see someone you like, how do you avoid looking like a crazy stalker with your wonky eyes trying to figure out if she has paid any attention to your advances?
It’s an impossible job and regrettable one that I fear I may be stuck in for some time at the rate I’m going. I don’t envy the girls having to put up with my insanely bad dance moves; I must look like a right idiot. Given the only time I dance is when I have had far too many beers on board. I think I have been keeping Jack Daniels in business for quite a while now. But seriously, a blind, drunk and insanely bad dancer swinging his legs and arms around like a fish out of water must be quite the sight. Thankfully no one has filmed it yet, well to my knowledge at least. It’s no wonder this proud peacock gets reduced to a KFC eating monster wobbling home through the streets of Cheltenham at 3am.
There must be an easier way around this guy seeks girl rubbish that us single men go through. Why does it have to be the guy that makes the first move? I know it’s the old fashioned way and I understand that but surely every now and then one of you lovely lasses can turn around and say, ‘Cor blimey, nice cane, can I have a go?’ Again, no pun intended. Well maybe a little bit.
It may well be easier to join the monastery and become a monk; in fact, I think that’s what I will do. It would be a lot cheaper.
That’s it for now,
Until next time
So 2017 has been a very up and down year once again. There have been a lot of successes and a lot of failings but on this day I wish to declare 2017 a good year.
Let’s get the bad stuff out the way first, I have had two failed relationships, nothing new there. I seem to find a way to ruin things for myself all the time. I had a rather bad eye infection which I still feel causes me problems today, and I still haven’t got a new passport. The last of these is me procrastinating for no real reason other than being lazy.
I went through my usual bout of depression but this time I actually did something about it and paid a huge amount of my hard earned money to see a councillor and get things sorted in the nugget of a brain of mine.
Overall the bad stuff wasn’t all that bad I guess, I’m still alive after all. I am still writing for the Huffington Post and I have a few more trophies in my ever growing collection. Seriously, I need a new shelf to put them on, it’s crowded now.
So a couple more women decided I wasn’t for them, I guess it wasn’t meant to be. However in my efforts to find the love of my life I have found something even more special; true friendship, I am not saying I never had true friends before, I did. In fact I still do, surprise surprise. Unlike the failed relationships I am able to hold down a good friendship or two, crazy I know.
During my efforts trawling through the hundreds of women using Plenty of Fish (other dating apps are available) I met one person this year in particular who has changed my life in so many ways it is hard to explain. You can define friendship in so many ways but you always know when you meet someone special. Someone who changes your opinion on people, someone who just has something that you know will last forever and someone who teaches you the true value of friendship without even knowing she has done it.
Stupidly when I was with one of my girlfriends this year I pushed her away. Which I really shouldn’t have done, it was a silly mistake and one which took a lot of making up. But we are now back on track and good friends – In fact I would go as far as to say we are true friends.
The point of telling this story is simple, you may not find the love of your life on a dating app, you may find a few people that want nothing more than a one night stand, you may find someone who is nothing like their profile suggests. But if you are really lucky, you can click with someone on more than just a romantic level. You can find someone who will always be there for you no matter what. If you are down and need a shoulder to cry on she’s there, If you have an eye infection she’s there, If you need a volunteer driver, she’s there.
At the end of the day, I know I may not have found the love of my life but I have found a friend for life and that is far more important than a relationship that can go bad.
I know the person this blog is referring to will read this and I hope she enjoys it.
That’s it for now
Until next time
Recently there has been a lot of people talking about the use of a white cane and it made me think about how I feel when using mine.
All of us in the Visually Impaired (VI) world know that just because someone is using a white cane or has a guide dog, it doesn’t mean they are totally blind. In fact it is quite the opposite. Research suggests that it is in fact only around 3% of the near two million people that live with some form of sight loss in the UK are actually totally blind. But society’s perceptions of people that have such instruments of mobility are totally wrong. It is a common understanding through most of the general public that anyone with said accessibility devices are totally blind. This is not true. Most of us have some form of what is known as ‘useful vision’. This vision that remains is what we use to do the things that others see as impossible for us to do as they believe we are totally blind.
I am a cane user, I have been now for just over 7 years. I have been VI now for over 11years and I have to say it really did change my life. You can check out my blog Moses of the High Street if you want to read my humorous take on life with a white cane. This blog however is focussing on the mental aspect of using a cane.
I saw a video recently where someone was saying they felt fraudulent using a cane as they weren’t totally blind. With society’s perception of sight loss assuming this, it made them feel awkward when thanking someone if they stopped to let them past. So, instead of being polite and well-mannered, they ended up ignoring the people that let them past and walked on by. In the past I have done the same. Ignoring the world around me and walking around like a grumpy blind zombie. Now this of course is not true, I am just a grumpy old man, but what people don’t realise about the cane is that it is as much for my own safety as it is for others to be aware that I have sight loss.
It is not the fault of us as cane users that most of the general population don’t know about the varying degrees of sight loss. So therefore why should I feel bad that I am being independent and moving around with confidence because of my cane. If I didn’t have it, what would I do? Well I can tell you what I used to do. NOTHING! I literally would get picked up in a taxi, go do whatever I needed to do, get dropped off in a taxi back at home and then sit there trying to figure out what button turns the television on and which one didn’t mess up the frequency. It is far more awkward to walk around sight impaired without a cane and bumping into things, be that A boards, people or even lamp posts. The cane allows me to navigate these inanimate objects with ease and people are usually very good and move aside so to avoid tagging of their ankles.
My cane gave me a new lease of life, it gave me the ability to do and try things I never thought I would. I don’t feel vulnerable anymore using it. But I do see where people are coming from when they say you almost feel like you have to act more blind than you are. I have done it before. But what is the point? By doing that I am just feeding into the negative stereotypes that besiege us all.
I say let’s educate the population. If someone asks, tell them. If you notice someone looking at you funny, tell them. If a parent walks past with a kid that asks, ‘mummy what’s that man got that white stick for? Tell them. Parents are seemingly terrible at educating children on the importance of such matters, it’s as if they don’t want to feel embarrassed. I’m not embarrassed, why should they be. I would much rather the youth of today grow up to be disability aware and therefore have the knowledge that disability is not a thing you have to avoid and be ignorant about. We ebrace it, so should everyone else.
Only we as cane users and guide dog owners can make that difference. One day we will take over and the many people who are stuck at home like I was will pick up their very own white stick and we can have our very own ‘Cane Pride Day’.
Mine changed my life, what did yours do for you?
That’s it for now
Until next time